Q: What’s scarier than a python in the kitchen?

A: A python that was in the kitchen.

It was quite exciting and, in the truest sense of the word, awesome to have a three meter python living in the kitchen. Now I had no desire to disturb this young, and what everybody here called small, member of the largest snake in the world, one that matches the Anaconda in size and strength and gets up to ten meters in length. It was not my turn to play the hero and usher the king of slithering reptiles towards a new home. Python reticulates can be found in the forest hunting deer and pigs - large pigs. I am not sure I could even win a battle against Babi, the bearded pig, so why even try with its predator. And anything keen enough to hunt a pig can definitely hunt me. Not too long ago a python was caught with the head and shoulders of a full-grown man in its belly. It dropped on him near his house. I do not want to be that man, so I let the snake sleep for day one, day two and day three. Day four it was gone.

You would think I could sigh with relief. Not so. I now have the feeling that he is waiting above the doorway as I enter, lying under my bed while I sleep, creeping up behind me as I read. Q: What’s worse than hearing the roar of a deadly animal tumbling your way? A: Not hearing it. You will never hear a snake as it approaches. That’s why you constantly have to look over your shoulders while you sip your coffee, only read with one eye, take a break while you type on the keyboard so you can make sure the area behind you, above you, and under chair is free of someone who could swallow you in one gulp. That is after it effortlessly squeezes the air out of you, crushes your ribcage, and snaps your neck.



There are many exciting animals here in Borneo. Like all islands, the land needs to be colonized in some fashion. For pedestrian mammals, this either occurs over landbridges when oceans are low and glaciers are high, or you must fly, swim, or float across a perilous stretch of ocean. It seems many choose the aerial route. We have flying lizards, flying foxes, flying fish, flying squirrels, flying snakes, flying frogs, and flying lemurs. All quite beautiful and impressive animals. We have elephants here too - no, not flying elephants, dumbo! - pygmy elephants. Although they are a lot shorter than their African cousins, they are far more aggressive and can be quite dangerous. But the animal that has scared me the most was of a different nature. I was wandering through the forest one day, when suddenly immediately near me a loud and fearsome barking began. Help! Is it a clouded leopard, a wild dog? No, it was an herbivore. Borneo’s barking deer…

The Malaysian language is a fun one to learn and it has lots of elements that in my opinion should be adopted in the west as well. First of all, the grammar is incredibly simple. Perhaps this is just my simplified understanding of the language and everything is merely simple because I only have a simple understanding of the complexities of this language.

Supposedly English is taught in the schools here starting at age seven, this does not seem to be the case with the people I work with. Either they did not go to school, did not pay attention, or the country schools here in the logging areas are low on content. Actually I work mostly with Indonesians who likely didn't have the same education as the more prosperous Malaysians. They provide Malaysia with very cheap labor, they receive barely more than a few dollars a day.

Back to the language. First, there are no tenses for the future or the past, it is all implied in conversation. Yesterday I eat, today I eat, tomorrow I eat, now I eat, etc. The form also doesn't change if you are talking about someone else: she eat. Then you can often omit who you are talking about as it is also inferred in the conversation. You can pose a question by merely changing the intonation. "want eat" can mean "I want to eat", "Do you want to eat?", "Tomorrow I will want to eat", "Did you want to eat yesterday?", all depending upon the context and the intonation. You can also use intonation to indicate distance. "Over theeeeeere" is a bit further than "over there".

English has developed complex rules of grammar to leave no doubt as to who is doing what. It makes speaking complex, but dumbs it down for the listener. No preposition, proverb or adverb can be omitted, everything is very clear, no matter what the context. Malaysian makes speaking very easy, but requires the listener to pay close attention to the whos, whats, and whens as they are not always mentioned, they are inferred. I can imagine that this would make poetry quite interesting. Is he talking about himself, is it me, is it humanity? Who the subject is is still open to interpretation. As my malaysian still is very poor, after every conversation I usually just understand that someone did something at some point in time, which doesn't really help, but I can reply, usually something like "hmmmm, me no understand. Want eat?"

To pluralize, you just repeat the word: Orang - person, orang-orang - people. The word for termite is anai-anai, I haven't figured out yet if the word for termites is anai-anai-anai-anai or if it is a word like sheep, where plural and singular is the same. Perhaps they simply realize that termites never come alone.

It is also fun to see all the modern words adopted by Malaysians: Teksi - Taxi, Bas stesen - Bus Station, etc. This makes things somewhat easy as it has a big british influence. Neighboring Indonesia was colonized by the dutch, so many of their modern words are dutch based. I don't think the dutch were very liked over here, the word for the Proboscis monkey is Dutchman and they are quite funny looking. The word orang-utan means man of the forest. Malaysians have recognized the relationship between man and ape a long time ago, while many in the west still debate the common history we share with our hairy cousins. But that's another story...

Here is my first attempt at making a video, my first Video ever and my first Junglecast, which I hope to do more of. I actually wanted to edit the video a bit more as since I pieced it together, I captured a wild Elephant on camera, which would add nicely to the sequence. But now since I am in front of a computer I with satellite internet connection, I mainly wanted to see how long it would take and if it would work. I had to compromise the quality of the video to be able to upload it, even with the compression, it still took a few hours to upload. Anyway, enjoy...



Well, I updated the video with an Elephant, Orang-Utan, and Red Leaf Monkey. I also improved the quality slightly and fixed some sound issues...

Well, here I am back in Danum, back from a week in the primordial forests of Malua. This means I can take a shower and use a washing machine, although both with only cold water. In Malua, we bathe and wash our clothes in the river, which has been rather clear as the weather has been conveniently dry. With the rain comes the mud and the bath, well... it becomes a mud bath. It is also less appealing to wash the dirt and smells off of your clothes when the water is darker than a Frappucino.

Despite my initial trepidation on the culinary options presented before me on the eve of my trip last week, I am well fed. The night we arrived there was a big party, which means lots of chicken, Karaoke and plenty of sweetened ethanol, playfully yet justifiably referred to as Petrol. I definitely had more than my share and began to actively forget (or was it disregard) how not to interact with Muslim women. Deciding to stock up on protein for the week, I ate plenty through the night. The next day we gorged ourselves on Pork Sausages, as the muslims did not find Phillippe's gift from Switzerland all too amusing, and we didn't want the meat to go bad. He brought enough for an entire party, which then ended up being just the two of us. Eating that much sausage made me seriously consider joining islam and denouncing pig.

It is now my 9th day in Malaysia and I have already managed to get sick three times, that's once every three days for those of you not too keen on doing the math. It looks like I'm off to a good start. (A quick disclaimer to the reader: I tend to generously and quite openly discuss my bodily movements. I do not mean to be vile or crude, but the faint of heart that prefer a sterile prose environment are encouraged to read at their own caution.)

The first case of mal-heur came in the form of Diarrhea in Kota Kinabalu on my first day in South-East Asia. I should have listened to my better judgement than to eat fish at a port where the water smells like a latrine. But on my first day I wanted to be open and experiment: Fish, squid, shrimp, and ... well I'm not quite sure what the rest was, but it was very good. So good that my stomach digested it a little too fast. The problem occurred in the bathroom at the airport as we were heading to Lahad Datu, and appropriately timed, just as Phillippe stuck his head into men's room to say we have 5 minutes to board the plane that originally was cancelled due to "technical issues". The bathroom was a clash of the old and the new worlds. It wasn't the Asian hole in the ground, it was a real western toilet, but had no lid, you had to sit on it, but there was no paper around, just a hose to spray yourself with and it seemed most people missed quite liberally, as the entire stall was dripping wet. I quickly sprayed myself as accurate (though not very precise) as I could and hopped through security to our flight. Food digested, problem solved, I was back on the health track again.

My second illness had the food coming out the other end and was accompanied by a blistering headache. I discharged all the food I had eaten on my first night in Malua after the party, and had to spend most of the day resting. Granted it was a Sunday, a wonderful day for resting. A few painkillers, a cold shower, and a nice swim in the river was a lifesaver. Needless to say from that experience I have lost the urge to participate in all of the local activities and will probably leave the ethanol to the Malaysians, or was it methanol?

Finally a few days later I came down with a cold. Here, in the haunting deadly blistering tropical humid heat, I get a cold. Sniffly and lethargic I was working in the shadehouses, almost passing out. At one point I actually tried to record our measurements while drifting off into a comatose state. Talented as I am, it actually worked, but I quickly realized it was not such a good idea. I have since gotten better, but the locals in Malua are all sneezing and coughing now. Oh well, so it goes. Travel to foreign countries, meet new people, and infect them. Isn't this what Europeans are good at? We've been doing it for centuries...

My days are spent measuring tree growth at least six hours a day. Diameter, height, branches, leaves, herbivory, etc. At first it was a bit tedious, but now I found a groove and a sort of zen tranquility, and I learned how to count in Malay. I can actually do slightly more than count and even though it seems to me that my knowledge of the language is progressing very slowly, I need to remind myself it's only been nine days. It's a fun language and I am excited to learn more.

It appears I left my USB cable for my camera in Switzerland so I am not able to update with pictures yet. I will purchase a memory card reader next time I go to town that enables you to connect memory cards, such as that from the camera to the computer, so I should be able to upload some pictures soon.

Ok, it's time for dinner, the first time I eat here in Danum, I am really looking forward to it. I saw the chef Justine a few hours ago getting ready, mashing potatoes for quite a large group of people with a mortar and pestel, the size of child's fist. I guess that's why they start cooking 5 hours in advance. I appreciate their hard work and so will my belly...

It's my third day in Malaysia and my second day in Borneo. I am now at the incredible research station in Danum Valley appropriately called the Danum Valley Field Centre (notice the British/French spelling). I am sitting and enjoying the wonderful view of primary rainforest from my veranda. Everything is tranquil besides the constant drone of the diesel generator placed conveniently downslope from me. It's quite nice to have electricity (and internet!) out in these remote woods and I am sure I will get used to the diesel hum and perhaps hear some birds once my ears are able to tune out the noise.

This place is quite full of people, scientists, researchers and conservationists that are examining plants, insects, bears, wild cats, and primates, most notably the Orang-Utan, which made an appearance yesterday close to the camp (before we arrived). So far the weather has been great. It usually rains every day here, the dry season, lasting only a few hours. But so far it only rained for an hour, naturally it started right as I went for a swim in the river.

Traveling out here was not without its challenges. Like most days, the flight to Lahad Datu from Kota Kinabalu (the Capital of Sabah) was cancelled due to technical issues (meaning not enough people on the plane). We were scheduled for a 10am flight and were bumped up to the 4pm flight. As it gets dark around 6pm, this was quite a drag. So we spent the day in KK checking out the market and eating Philippino food. We went back to the airport at 2pm to find out they scheduled a new flight at 2:05, we caught it in the last minute.

Flying over Borneo makes you witness first hand the impact of the Palm Oil and logging industry. So much of the original forest is gone, massive areas are converted to monocultures of African Palm. Check it out on Google Earth, it is really quite shocking. Once the forest is cleared, the local climate also changes, making reforestation quite difficult. The forest is able to hold moisture and keep the area cool, once it is cleared, only hardy heat-tolerant species can survive, and these are mostly tropical weeds. As the forest does not grow back, they then convert it to palm plantations.

In an hour I am off to Malua, away from all the luxuries we have here. We have fruits, potatoes, cassava, and eggs. I will try to get some meat as much as I can for protein, but we'll see... I will definitely be losing weight out here, no fat, no cheese, no milk and a constant outdoor sauna.

I just wanted to let you know I arrived safely in Borneo. I also just received an eMail with the list of students for the Field Course in China. I am the only person from the west, the others are from China, India, Vietnam, Indonesia, etc. Should be fun...

It's very hot here and smells like India. I ordered vegetarian on the plane and they served me gelatin bean cubes with veggies, I guess products made from horse bones is not technically meat, but I would venture it's not technically vegetarian as well, oh well, I'm only 70% vegetarian anyway.

I bought a guitar at the market today and tomorrow I am off to Lahad Datu, a town that is still known for pirate raids (not a good idea to go diving there, some Germans were kidnapped by pirates a few years ago for a one million dollar ransom, or was it one million Malaysian Ringits?). Then I will be driving on the wrong side of the road, like all former British colonies, to Danum Valley, where I have internet access. Then I will head to Malua, where I won't have internet access, but plenty of rice & ketchup. There's a fridge, but apparently its covered in blood and fish and is not so appealing for vegetables.

...arg, and now the WIFI just dissappeared, I will now have to save this message in a text editor, go somewhere else and see if I can get back online...